Some people are naturally pessimistic and are happy being so. They view themselves as pragmatic and as having a better sense of reality. Then there are those of us who feel weighed down by negativity and wish that we could be more optimistic. This is completely possible. It all lies in the way we perceive things...
1. Stress management
When we conceal our anxieties, they only build. Each concern can snowball into a feeling of being overwhelmed. Each person has their own way of letting off steam. This varies from exercise, to listening to music, to reading a good book. More of us are beginning to realize how important proper stress management is to both our physical and mental health.
2. Constant reality checks
It is sometimes necessary to debate the validity of your concerns to determine whether they are rational or not. This is called self-rationalization and one of the most recognized methods is the worst case scenario. This is when you consider the worst possible situation, then go on to consider whether it is likely to happen. For example, a loved one said they would call once they arrived by subway to a certain destination. They should have reached that destination 15 minutes ago. You may dream up scenarios of there being a train accident or some other frightful incident took place. But after a little thought, you find that it

Recently I was facilitating an Outstanding Customer Service program and broke for lunch. Knowing that the restaurants in the area had much to desire as far as service I gave the students an extra fifteen minutes for lunch.
Sure enough a group of four students came rushing into the classroom with their lunches in hand. They sincerely apologized and quickly explained that they receive poor service at a restaurant This restaurant is part of a national chain. Hint: its name references a day in the week. I can

A career is the sum total of all of your work-related contributions to society in a lifetime. This includes time and effort spent to provide goods, services, or benefit to others. A career includes paid, un-paid, volunteer, part-time, and full-time positions. Your career includes many life roles you may not think of: student, homemaker, babysitter, office worker, doctor, lawyer, etc. A career encompasses all the roles you play and duties you perform. You may have many jobs or positions that make up your career, but you only have one overall career. There are various career options in the modern world of work: Self-Employed, Organization Employed, or Project-Employed.
By definition, career development is the interaction of psychological, sociological, economic, physical and chance factors that shape the sequence of jobs, occupations, or positions a person may engage in throughout his or her lifetime. Career development is an ongoing process that includes the aspects of planning and strategizing your career based on information about your self, the world of work, the match between them, and the action you will take to create your life

Recently on the television reality show, The Apprentice, Donald Trump would give the ultimate winner the dream job of working for him, running one of his divisions and earning $250,000 per year. On the final episode, the choice came down to two candidates, Bill Rancic and Kwame Jackson, for the

A short generation ago, families could set their watch by the time the father got home from work each day. My dad always walked through the front door at precisely 6 PM and supper was served at 6:10. We

Forgiveness is a critical element in becoming self actualized and fully loving. Forgiving is the process by which you let go of feeling victimized or having wronged others. It allows you to climb out of the dark well of anger, bitterness, or guilt into which you can easily fall.
In a busy life, you are frequently confronted with opportunities to forgive others as well as yourself. With others, you cope with mild frustrations like the delivery person who shows up late, or with more severe transgressions like the friend who tells your secrets. With these events, forgiving is hindered if the behavior violates your basic sense of what is "right" or fair, or how you think people "should" behave. When someone wrongs you, your anger can be empowering as you prepare to defend your principles and "fight the good fight." Or, you may believe that forgiveness is possible only if the other person admits to the wrongdoing. All of these attitudes are unhealthy when rigidly maintaining your anger and sense of victimization.
It is also frequently necessary to forgive yourself, since you regularly evaluate your own behaviors, some of which may not meet your own standards Forgiving yourself is harder than forgiving others if you tend to judge yourself more harshly than others with a perfectionist style that doesnt permit mistakes. You may pride yourself on high standards for your own conduct. Or, you may believe that only God has the right to forgive you. These beliefs encourage poor self-esteem and the corrosive effects of guilt.
In Stepping Stones: 10 Steps to Seizing Passion and Purpose, the process of forgiving is described as APEX healing. It begins with Acknowledging the reality of the situation without distortion or denial. Then, you give yourself Permission to feel whatever is real and congruent with your thoughts about the event and the person responsible. Label your specific feelings and their actual intensity; dont label yourself as upset or irritated when youre really angry. Whenever possible try to Empathize with the person who committed the transgression; put yourself in their position and imagine how you might have done something similar. If you are considering self-forgiveness, remember what was going on with you at the time of the incident, not merely in hindsight. Ultimately, you can explore strategies for forgiveness.
To forgive others, you might consider the behavior as a one-time aberration; focus on the behavior, not the outcome; minimize the importance of the consequences; or minimize how much you think about the event. To forgive yourself, you can give yourself permission to make mistakes; promise yourself not to repeat the behavior; or vow to learn from the event. In some cases, it can be helpful to write a letter of forgiveness.
The process of forgiveness can last anywhere from a few seconds to years. It is the ultimate stress management solution in a civilization with a rapidly accelerating pace and increasingly complex lifestyle. It allows you to choose your paths, your present, and your future.
Dr. Tim Sams
My Sacred Journey

http://www.mysacredjourney.com

Copyright 2004. Dr. Tim Sams. All rights reserved.

About The Author

Dr. Tim Sams is the author of Stepping Stones: 10 Steps to Seizing Passion and Purpose; the book is available through his web site: http://www.mysacredjourney.com/bookstore.htm, and at all online bookstores.
Dr. Sams is a University of Michigan graduate who interned at the Long Beach VA Medical Center. He is a diplomate of the American Academy of Pain Management and the American College of Forensic Medicine. He originally trained as a medical and health psychologist with specialty training in behavioral medicine, the melding of medicine and psychology, mind and body. Though he had taken dozens of classes in biology, anatomy, and physiology, over time his clinical passion for alleviating physical pain blossomed and he obtained a Masters of Science with emphasis on the medical basis of orthopedic, neurologic, and myofascial pain. He is a frequent lecturer on pain management throughout the United States. He authored the most comprehensive patient pain manual scheduled for release in June, 2005. He writes a free, biweekly newsletter called Advances in Medicine that you can sign up for on this website. Dr. Tim is a motivator and a teacher; a caring soul who believes that humor is one of the best weapons against pain; that and really good drugs.
Dr. Tim has multiple offices in Southern California, consulting to a few dozen pain physicians and hundreds of primary care physicians and orthopedic surgeons. He spends one day a week in his office educating patients at http://www.MyPainReliefDoc.com.
He lives and plays in Orange County, California with his wife Lari and his daughter, Leah. He spends most of his non-family free time jogging, swimming, reading, or writing.
Copyright 2004. Dr. Tim Sams. All rights reserved.
drtimsams@yahoo.com

There are seven stages in a romantic relationship: avoidance, meeting, dating, breaking up, establishing exclusivity, commitment, and keeping the love you find. Each of these stages vary in length and intensity. At each stage, there are thoughts and feelings telling you what to do and when to do it. You need to learn to listen to your intuition in each stage, so that you can make smart decisions.
It is important to note that the breaking up stage can happen at any time within the other stages; i.e., at any time you or the other person decides to exit the relationship for whatever reason.
In all seven stages, you always have these choices:
1. Continue moving forward
2. Stagnate
3. Slow down or go backwards
4. Exit
By taking notice of the signals from your head and heart, you will be better able to interpret what your intuition is telling you. At each stage, consider,

"Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one." Hans Selye - the "father of stress" and founder of the Canadian Institute of Stress.
Every worker in America has heard of individual stress management techniques -- relaxation, meditation, and visualization -- good tools for getting through stressful periods. But if theyre so great, why do we still have all this stress
Were going to need something more than mood music, aroma therapy, and comfortable lighting to get beyond the stress of todays workplace. Were going to need managements attention because stress control is a leadership responsibility.
The US Army has plenty of experience with stress control as front line leaders strive to keep GIs on the job. Traditionally, the US Army has lost as many soldiers to stress as to enemy gunfire - a ratio of 1:1. The most elite units trim this loss to a ratio of 1:10 - one stress loss for every 10 wounded soldiers.
Regardless of the ratio, every front line soldier is critical to winning the battle. Commanders know that controlling stress under fire is as critical as food, fuel, and ammunition. The same holds true for corporate America. You cant get high productivity with high absenteeism.
Combat leaders watch for stress symptoms and take action. They are taught to "Know your troops, and be alert for any sudden, persistent or progressive change in their behavior that threatens the functioning and safety of your unit." FM 6-22.5, "Combat Stress"
Specifically, front line leaders are taught to help overstressed soldiers in six ways:
Army Step 1. Reassurance
Corporate Solution: Some people need contact with the boss to assure them that things will turn out ok. Spend time to find out workers concerns. Ask for their observations on recent events. Find out what they think about upcoming changes. Ask for their advice -- theyll admire you for demonstrating your trust. Simple remarks showing your confidence in workers can make a big difference.
Army Step 2. Rest and sleep
Corporate Solution: Its worth your while to offer some additional time off if stress is interfering with performance. Consider giving additional breaks to relieve mental and physical fatigue. Improved productivity will more than pay for the unstructured breaks that over-stressed workers will take on their own.
Find out whats needed to help employees get more rest at home. Bring in experts to teach the importance of rest and relaxation. Take a look at that overtime schedule; the extra work might be taking its toll in absenteeism, illness, accidents, and attitudes.
Army Step 3. Food and fluids
Corporate Solutions: You can influence how people eat by getting experts to teach the importance of proper nutrition. Make sure nutritious snacks are available alongside the junk food in vending machines. Provide healthy snacks mid-morning and mid-afternoon when energy levels begin to fade. The investment will pay off in better performance. Reward good health.
Army Step 4. Hygiene - bathing, clean uniforms
Corporate Solution: A scheduled break to get cleaned up before lunch or after a hard day of dirty work can pay off in a big way. Make sure everyone has the right protective clothing for the job. Extreme temperature and dampness create stress that can be easily relieved by proper apparel and hygiene breaks. And, as surprising as it might seem, some employees do not have running water at home.
Not all of them have hot water. Not all of them have washing machines. Make these things available at your workplace or find alternatives. One-time arrangements can go a long way in helping stressed workers get their emotions under control and get their productivity up where it belongs.
Army Step 5. Discussion - A chance to talk about what happened, to tell war stories
Corporate Solution: Everyone benefits from a chance to tell about what went on. Some people are more sensitive than others. There is often great value in routine meetings to kick off the shift or explain the days activities. Scheduling time before or after meetings to talk about what happened can relieve stress for those in the spot light. Team discussions after sales calls can help stressed workers understand the results and focus on what needs to be done.
In times of high stress, some people need to talk about what happened to others around them - family members, community tragedies. Managers can handle the day-to-day conversations and experts are available to address major stressors. Help workers tell their "war stories."
Army Step 6. Restoring identity and confidence with useful work
Corporate Solution: As soon as possible, over stressed workers need to return to their positions of responsibility. They need to see that a they can perform well b that management recognizes their efforts c and that life goes on. Emphasize small accomplishments. Find reasons to reward each person for their achievements.
GIs usually return to their jobs after a short rest, a hot shower, a chat with their supervisor, and a warm meal. Your people can do the same. Most of the time, they can continue in their jobs if you pay attention to their basic needs.
Watch for high stress period in your business cycle and schedule time to work on these six steps. Youll improve productivity and the workplace environment by taking care of your people. Your investment of time and money will be rewarded in better performance and lower costs.
Work with your human resources experts to assist those who are beyond your ability. Let the professionals take care of the severe cases while you take care of your other employees and get the work done.
Can you identify employees who are suffering from stress Do you know what to do about it Evaluate employee problems with an eye toward stress control. Send a blank email to toptenstressors@couragebuilders.com for a f`r`e`e article about the top ten causes of workplace stress.
Copyright 2004 - Dale Collie
You may publish this article electronically or in print f`r`e`e of charge. Just include my full byline and add a hyperlink for web postings. When you publish, please send a courtesy link or email to collie@couragebuilders.com.

About The Author

Dale Collie collie@couragebuilders.com speaker and former US Army Ranger, CEO,and professor at West Point. Selected by "Fast Company" as one of Americas Fast 50 innovative leaders. Author of "Frontline Leadership: From War Room to Boardroom," and "Winning Under Fire: Turn Stress into Success the US Army Way." McGraw- Hil Free newsletter upon request: MailTo:subscribe-956606571@ezinedirector.net

1. Encourage Questions.
Dont answer every question, instead ask what do they think. Asking questions stimulates conversation between you and your child.
2. Dont Criticize.
Criticism invites low self-esteem. Children feel that they have failed or disappointed their parents when they are criticized. Find alternate ways of correcting the problem. A child will likely shut down communication if they feel that their parents are not supportive.
3. Respect Your Childs Opinions.
Your child is not an extension of you. Although it is difficult to accept at times, it is normal and healthy for your child to have their own opinion. Children who are confident in expressing their opinions are less likely to join gangs or succumb to peer pressure.
4. Teach Your Child To Embrace Diversity.
Encourage your child to learn about different cultures and ethnicities. A well informed child can will understand and respect other peoples values.
5. Teach Your Child To Set Personal Boundaries.
Children need to have their personal space respected in order for them to respect other peoples personal space. Help your child to establish their boundaries and insist that he/she enforce them with their peers.
6. Establish A Nurturing Environment.
Children thrive in environments in which they know they are loved and respected. Remind them every day that you love them and support them.
7. Understand Your Childs Thinking Process.
In order for you to be an advocate for your child in school, you must know and understand how your child learns. Is he/she creative, logical, musical, spatial, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalistic Know your childs capabilities and accept their creativity.
8. Let Them Think For Themsleves.
Encourage independent thinking. Let your child decide within reason what is appropriate for them. Give them enough room to make decisions, but also be there in case their plans dont work out.
9. Teach Them Stress Management Skills.
Help your child to effectively deal with stress. Try not to contribute to their stress with demands and unrealistic expectations. Make learning fun!
10. Teach Your Child To Trust His/Her Instincts.
In order for children to be successful in life, they must learn how to trust their decisions. Your child needs to be confident in trusting his/her instincts and feelings. Children who trust themselves are less likely to participate in unhealthy behaviors.

About The Author

Marie Magdala Roker is a Family Coach and Certified Breakthrough Parenting Instructor. She is completing her Masters in Health Education at Columbia Universitys Teachers College. She helps parents to reclaim their lives and students to unlock their academic potential. She is committed to helping build healthy families, one family member at a time.
mroker@livelearnempower.com

Every Holiday season Vicki found herself angry and silently seething at her older sister, Susie, and mother as they were merrily chatting about Susie