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Marking Togetherness: Beyond the Unity Candle – Weddings

Marking Togetherness: Beyond the Unity Candle
Blake Kritzberg

By now, surely everyones familiar with the unity candle, but did you know there are other unification ceremonies to choose from when planning your wedding
Although the unity candle seems to have been with us forever, in reality its only about ten years old. During those years, more "two-become-one" motifs have arrived to round out the theme.
Unification ceremonies are not only a symbol of togetherness, theyre also flexible elements of a wedding. These ceremonies can be "opened up" to include important family members, such as the bridal couples parents. Children from previous marriages can play a part, as can the entire congregation in a smaller wedding. Candle and rose ceremonies are common choices for adapting in this way.
Unification ceremonies can also be "stacked." Its not unusual to find a wedding that includes a hand and water ceremony, for example, or a wine and rose ceremony. Some couples play music during these ceremonies and others dont.
The timing of unification ceremonies varies by wedding, but they most often take place directly before or after the exchange of vows. These ceremonies may be especially important in non-religious weddings, which may end too quickly otherwise!
Lets look at some alternatives to the Unity Candle ceremony:
* Rose Ceremony
The rose ceremony is a flexible, informal ceremony especially suited to an interfaith or non-religious wedding, not to mention a garden wedding! In the rose ceremony, bride and groom exchange a single rose as their first married gift to each other. They are asked to recall this symbol of their love during the more trying seasons of marriage.
* Hand Ceremony
In the hand ceremony, the bride takes the grooms hands in hers, palms up. The officiant invites her to view his hands as a gift, and says: "These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you build your future, as together you laugh and cry, and together you share your innermost secrets and dreams."
The groom then takes the brides hands, palm side up. The officiant says, "They are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness, as she promises her love and commitment to you all the days of her life."
* Knot Ceremony
In the knot ceremony, the mothers of the bridal couple are given a cord, which the officiant later asks them to give to the bridal couple. The couple ties a lovers knot, which they may save to look back on later.
* Sand, Water and Wine Ceremonies
These are all mixing ceremonies suited to a Unitarian or interfaith wedding. The sand ceremony is said to arise from Apache customs, and is popular in beach weddings. In each case, the bride and groom pour sand or liquid from two separate vials into one. In the wine ceremony, they drink the mixed wine.
A nice touch is to have the bride pour white wine while the groom pours red. You can then serve ros