Words of Wisdom for Single Parents – Parenting
Words of Wisdom for Single Parents
Sarah Mitchell
The cost of being a parent and raising a child in todays world is constantly increasing. The risk of your child becoming involved in problem behaviour is also greater. Parents must work together as a team to ensure the brightest future for their children. But what if there is no team. No other person to rely upon. This is what millions of single parents deal with everyday. But it is not only the parent who sees this as a gloomy situation. Children are quite often left thinking that they are the reason for a separation or divorce. It is the child who must attend father and son day at school without a dad. They have to grow up with all the stigma attached to coming from a "broken home". These are just a few of the many potential problems that a single parents household are faced with. This article is aimed at providing single parents with some strategies for raising a good child despite what other people may say.
Concentrate on the positives
Although it may be impossible to see at first, there are some positives for single parents. The main one being less fighting, bickering and tension around the house. This will benefit your child in the long run as it becomes a more child friendly environment. Try to see your situation as a new found freedom and feeling of independence.
Develop a new relationship with your child
A child must obviously be comforted at such a time, but also made to see that you are the boss. Do not let your child think that because there is now only one parent around, they can do whatever they please. Children need rules and routine, regardless of how many parents are around.
Ask for help if you need it
Suddenly single parents will probably find that their workload doubles or triples at first. If your children are old enough, be sure to set them some chores around the house each day to take the pressure off yourself a little. Speak to other parents as much as you can. You will be surprised how often they will be happy to help out. It may just be taking your child to the movies or to a sports game on a Saturday morning, but every little bit helps. Above all, dont feel as though you have to do absolutely everything on your own.
Do not use your children for emotional support
Children need to have fun, play with their friends and enjoy their youth. Do not become overly possessive of your child or look to them for emotional support. This quite often leads to the child feeling as overwhelmed as you are. Although you may not be ready for another romantic relationship, try to talk to other adults about your emotions.
Kids react best to routine
In order to create a stable household envirnonment with children, their must be rules and routine. Simple things like having dinner at the same time each night, bed time, homework time etc... If you can provide a schedule for them, they will feel a sense of security. Of course, the correct dosage of attention and affection will also provide and sustain a nuturing environment, but a combination of the two will always work best.
Dont forget about you
For single parents with a house full of kids and only one parent to do all the work and all the worrying, it may be easy to forget about ones self. It is crutial to the well-being of your children, that you stay healthy. If you feel run down, ask another parent or relative to mind the kids for a night or two. Try to remember the things you enjoy doing and dedicate a little bit of your time to do these things. The way a parent feels is quite often reflected in a child. If you are stressed out all the time, then this may directly or indirectly affect your child. So, try to stay calm around the kids when you can. Take a deep breath, or wait until the kids are out of the car before you start screaming!
Try to remember that it is all about quality not quantity. There are many two parnet households out their that are doing a much worse job than yourself. Just beacause a parent finds themsleves on their own, doesnt mean that things wont work out. Remember, not just anyone can run a house, raise kids and do a thousand other things all at once. Give yourself a pat on the back once in a while. You have a lot to be proud of. Best of luck to you!
About The Author
Article written by Sarah Mitchell of NamesToBe.com. Article free for reprint as long as this info box is present and all hyperlinks remain active.
Baby names and meanings at http://www.namestobe.com.
Single parenting at http://www.namestobe.com/singleparenting.html.
Sports Psychology Guidelines for Sports Parents – Parenting
Sports Psychology Guidelines for Sports Parents
Dr. Patrick J. Cohn
Sports parents have a big impact on their young superstars. A healthy and successful sports experience will depend on sports parents ability to instill confidence and self-esteem in athletes. Read sports psychology expert, Dr. Patrick Cohns view on how to make sports a successful and fun experience.
Youth sports are huge in today
"You Make Me Sick" and other things Parents Say in Anger – Parenting
"You Make Me Sick" and other things Parents Say in Anger
Patricia Gatto
Maryann is so focused shes blind. Shes slipped over the edge of responsibility and forgot the real reason she is working so hard. Its for her daughter.
Being a single parent isnt easy. Between working, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning and homework, there isnt much time left in the day. Its a heavy burden to be the sole supporter of a young child. But when pressures and tensions are so great that harmful words spill out like bitter pills, isnt it time to stop and take inventory
"Clean your room or Im gonna kill you!" "If you dont do your homework right now, Ill break your neck!" "Just leave me alone, Ive had a rough day."
These statements came from a woman who loves her daughter and shes working hard to provide for her. If you asked Maryann, shed say she would do anything in the world for her child. But why cant she see that respectful communication conveys love more than a new pair of shoes ever will And why does she have to be reminded to treat her child with respect
Maryann isnt alone. Life is frustrating. Weve all heard parents, married, single or otherwise, speak to their children in anger. As adults, weve all rolled our eyes at the dramatic threats, knowing full well they have no intention of being carried out. But does a child know these are simply dumb words spoken in frustration Does a child know that the violent threats of bodily harm are hollow
Whether over the top displays of drama are blurted in anger, or merely used to snap a child to attention, the results are unhealthy and damaging.
When little Billy tells a classmate he is going to kill him over a broken crayon, where do you think he learned that response from And in todays climate, do you think anyone would consider it just an innocent statement from an innocent child Billy would be sent to the principals office on the spot. And if not, he would certainty be called down after the victim of his harsh words went home and told his parents and they reported it to the school.
What happens when your child gets a little older and has a real problem What if he needs to talk about drugs or alcohol Or she has a problem in school, or a question about boys Repeatedly belittling your child with angry words and intimidation will break down the barriers of communication long before you even reach this point. If you threaten to "kill" your child over a messy room, what would you do if she told you she was having sex
Anger has a way of creating very colorful and exaggerated statements. Parents and caregivers need to make a concerted effort to remove these damaging phrases from their vocabulary by controlling anger. Save the drama for a time when it is really needed. On occasion, shocking statements do have a place in parenting, but used on a daily basis, they will only sever to create fear or simply numb your child to your words.
Search your vocabulary; are you unintentionally damaging the relationship you have with your child Here are some steps to help you take control when you feel frustration and anger rise.
Take a deep breath, not from your chest, but pulling from your diaphragm. Slowly exhale. As you do this, picture your words evaporate into the air.
Lift your hand, palm out, in a stopping motion. This will indicate to your child that you need a moment and serve to remind you that you are stopping yourself from anger.
Calmly tell yourself to relax as you continue to breathe deeply.
Wait until you feel in control. When you speak, intentionally bring your voice down, not to a whisper, but to a soft, paced level.
Then logically explain the reason for your anger to your child, voiding threats and harsh criticism.
Its okay to say you are disappointed or upset about a messy room or a bad grade, but focus on the problem and offer a solution or deliver a fair ultimatum.
If punishment is necessary, make it realistic. I dont know of a single parent that took away television privileges from their child for the rest of their life.
Follow through on your words.
If you do get angry, offer your child an apology, not an excuse. Take blame for your actions.
Closely examine the situation that triggered your anger. Was it really your child Is there an underlying factor If so, what can you do to correct the situation or avoid it in the future
Anger is a natural emotion. It cant be completely controlled or removed from our lives, but you can change the way you handle things. In doing so, you gain an invaluable gift, a respectful relationship with your child. Healthy communication is a parents weapon against the outside world. A child should turn to his parent in times of trouble, not run away in fear.
About The Author
Patricia Gatto and John De Angelis are the authors of MILTONS DILEMMA, the tale of a lonely boys magical journey to friendship and self-acceptance. As advocates for literacy and childrens rights, the authors speak at schools and community events to foster awareness and provide children with a safe and healthy learning environment. For more information, please visit Joyful Productions at http://www.joyfulproductions.com
pgatto@ptd.net